Good morning, everyone,

In case anyone reading The Trifecta is wondering where I get my material to torment Sage, me, it’s me.

For instance, this morning, I dragged myself out of bed, half asleep, to make my elixir of life—coffee. After heating the water, I pour it into my French Press, and I slightly overfill it. When I put the top on the French Press, coffee spurts out onto the glass-top stove. No big deal, it’s all flat glass, easy to wipe up. That would have been fine, except I have rubber runners on each side of the stove to prevent things from going down the sides, and what does the coffee do? That’s right, it defies physics and manages to spurt under the rubber runner. Under! How?! So, I lift the runner, and coffee is dripping down the side of my stove. I sigh, only slightly more awake, and clean the coffee mixed with grounds off of the stovetop, only to slosh it onto the floor and Luna’s cat dish.

Grumbling expletives, I clean the floor and the cat dish and proceed to push the press down on my coffee pot. Well, apparently, I pushed too hard and fast, go figure, and the seal breaks, sending coffee grounds swirling happily into my coffee. I swear I hear them scream “Wee” as they blend with my precious coffee. I went ahead and poured my cup of coffee, picking out the floating grounds I could see with my blurry sleep-filled vision, and proceeded to drink said coffee.

I still haven’t cleaned the side of the stove because that will require pulling said stove out, and can you only imagine?

Side note, I went out to get a second cup of coffee and noticed Luna’s food bowl had a perfect line of food sitting at the very top untouched. Apparently, I didn’t get all the coffee grounds as I thought.