Another rough morning …

This is the actual story that inspired episode 6, The Toothbrush, from my Kindle Vella story, The Trifecta.

I went to the store last week, and I forgot to get a toothbrush. There was one in the drawer, so I used it.  I’ve been using it for the past week. Andrew comes into my room this morning at 8:45 and says, “Why are you using my toothbrush?”

“What?” I said, not awake yet, and still on my first cup of coffee.

“You stole my toothbrush,” he accuses.

I respond with, “It was in the drawer. Go eat breakfast.”

Andrew walks away and comes back five seconds later. “I can’t believe you stole my toothbrush.”

“Really? It was in the drawer, not being used. I didn’t steal it,” I said, exasperated.

Andrew narrows his eyes at me. “It was mine. I distinctly remember asking the lady for an orange and black toothbrush.”

“It’s blue and black,” I counter.

He says, “It has some orange on it.”

“OMG! Get over it and go eat,” I say, exacerbated.

Andrew walks away and comes back three seconds later. “I can’t believe you stole my toothbrush!”

Insane, maniacal laughter comes out of me at this point because of the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Now he comes into my room instead of standing in the doorway.

“I want my toothbrush back.”

 I practically yell, “I’m already using it! You can’t have it.”

“I’ll just wash it a million times.”

“Why do you care so much about this stupid toothbrush?”

“I was going to use it when my Star Wars one dies.”

“What? I’ll just get you a new Star Wars one.”

“No, I want that one.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Then it dawns on me that he has a crush on the pretty, young dental hygienist who gave him the toothbrush. So I ask, “Is it because you like the pretty hygienist that gave it to you?”

He walks away without answering.

I shout, “Ahaha! That’s it, isn’t it? You like it because she gave it to you!”

He refuses to answer and goes into the bathroom. I follow, watching as he snatches my toothbrush with a scowl.

“Give me my toothbrush back! We can ask her for a new one,” I said, slightly amused now.

He shakes his head.

“Fine!” I open the drawer and pick the green one, and put it in my now empty toothbrush spot. “Happy?”

He stares at the green toothbrush and asks suspiciously, “Where did you get the green one?”

“It’s mine!” I snap.

Andrew says, “I’ve never seen it before.” 

Before I can respond, he runs off with the toothbrush I was using, and when I leave the bathroom, he goes back in there and spends five minutes washing it with disinfecting soap.

Rough Morning

Good morning, everyone,

In case anyone reading The Trifecta is wondering where I get my material to torment Sage, me, it’s me.

For instance, this morning, I dragged myself out of bed, half asleep, to make my elixir of life—coffee. After heating the water, I pour it into my French Press, and I slightly overfill it. When I put the top on the French Press, coffee spurts out onto the glass-top stove. No big deal, it’s all flat glass, easy to wipe up. That would have been fine, except I have rubber runners on each side of the stove to prevent things from going down the sides, and what does the coffee do? That’s right, it defies physics and manages to spurt under the rubber runner. Under! How?! So, I lift the runner, and coffee is dripping down the side of my stove. I sigh, only slightly more awake, and clean the coffee mixed with grounds off of the stovetop, only to slosh it onto the floor and Luna’s cat dish.

Grumbling expletives, I clean the floor and the cat dish and proceed to push the press down on my coffee pot. Well, apparently, I pushed too hard and fast, go figure, and the seal breaks, sending coffee grounds swirling happily into my coffee. I swear I hear them scream “Wee” as they blend with my precious coffee. I went ahead and poured my cup of coffee, picking out the floating grounds I could see with my blurry sleep-filled vision, and proceeded to drink said coffee.

I still haven’t cleaned the side of the stove because that will require pulling said stove out, and can you only imagine?

Side note, I went out to get a second cup of coffee and noticed Luna’s food bowl had a perfect line of food sitting at the very top untouched. Apparently, I didn’t get all the coffee grounds as I thought.

Quote of the day; Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed . . .

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.

This remains one of my favorite quotes.